Ask Grandma Anything: Contemplating a Cross-Country Move

Hi Grandma,

It’s so nice that you are offering yourself to the world like this. My grandmothers and mother are gone so advice is hard to find!

I am in my mid-forties, happily married with two young sons. We live in a small midwestern city. My husband is from here and his whole family is still here. We all get along fine and see each other often… sometimes too often.

So, in spite of having this nice, settled life where my children are happy and have family, I want to leave. I love California and have wanted to live there for years. I feel “home” when I’m there. But it seems so selfish to move my kids and risk losing all the support we have here. I know what I *want* to do, but I don’t know what to do as a mother and a wife. My husband says he’ll support any decision although he’s less of a risk taker than I. Should I simply be grateful for what I have? Or risk losing it all?

Thank you so much! I feel better just being able to send this message!

signed,
Stay or Go

*

Dear Stay or Go,

Take a vacation. A three month vacation is a very long time. I think you will be very happy to go back to where you belong.

Everyone likes to think the grass is greener on the other side, but it is all about how you look at it. California is a nice place. I love it. But you have roots where you are at. And maybe you can take some time to figure out what you need to make you happy wherever you live.

Good luck to you and your family.

Love,
Cutie

Hi Grandma,

It’s so nice that you are offering yourself to the world like this. My grandmothers and mother are gone so advice is hard to find!

I am in my mid-forties, happily married with two young sons. We live in a small midwestern city. My husband is from here and his whole family is still here. We all get along fine and see each other often… sometimes too often.

So, in spite of having this nice, settled life where my children are happy and have family, I want to leave. I love California and have wanted to live there for years. I feel “home” when I’m there. But it seems so selfish to move my kids and risk losing all the support we have here. I know what I *want* to do, but I don’t know what to do as a mother and a wife. My husband says he’ll support any decision although he’s less of a risk taker than I. Should I simply be grateful for what I have? Or risk losing it all?

Thank you so much! I feel better just being able to send this message!

signed,
Stay or Go

*

Dear Stay or Go,

Take a vacation. A three month vacation is a very long time. I think you will be very happy to go back to where you belong.

Everyone likes to think the grass is greener on the other side, but it is all about how you look at it. California is a nice place. I love it. But you have roots where you are at. And maybe you can take some time to figure out what you need to make you happy wherever you live.

Good luck to you and your family.

Love,
Cutie