Ask Grandma Anything: Feuding In-Laws

Dear Cutie,

I’ve been wanting to get your advice on something, but since it is a private matter I thought I would email instead! My sister and I are extremely close. She lives out of state, but we remain close. My husband and I got married about seven months ago. My sister and my husband have never gotten along, but they’re typically tolerant of one another. Recently that changed and my husband called my sister and they had a heated discussion about the reasons they dislike one another. I’m afraid that my husband just doesn’t understand her personality. Truthfully he can be very rude when she comes to visit. He has never gone to visit her with me and refuses to.  My sister is having her first child in October. I don’t want this baby to grow up not knowing their Uncle. I’m not sure what to do. My sister is not writing him off, but him writing off my family is hurtful, and I’m not willing to lose them. Any suggestions?

Signed,
Hurting

Dear Hurting,

When the baby comes, everybody is going to mellow out. If your husband still does not want to spend time with your sister, then he doesn’t have to. But he should respect that you want to have a relationship with your sister, and he must be cordial when he sees her or talks with you about her. There is never an excuse for rudeness, especially if it hurts you, too. Let them know that you love them both and you want to spend as much time as they can afford to give you. Right now everyone’s feelings are heated but usually these things get better with time. Good luck to you.

Love,
Cutie

Dear Cutie,

I’ve been wanting to get your advice on something, but since it is a private matter I thought I would email instead! My sister and I are extremely close. She lives out of state, but we remain close. My husband and I got married about seven months ago. My sister and my husband have never gotten along, but they’re typically tolerant of one another. Recently that changed and my husband called my sister and they had a heated discussion about the reasons they dislike one another. I’m afraid that my husband just doesn’t understand her personality. Truthfully he can be very rude when she comes to visit. He has never gone to visit her with me and refuses to.  My sister is having her first child in October. I don’t want this baby to grow up not knowing their Uncle. I’m not sure what to do. My sister is not writing him off, but him writing off my family is hurtful, and I’m not willing to lose them. Any suggestions?

Signed,
Hurting

Dear Hurting,

When the baby comes, everybody is going to mellow out. If your husband still does not want to spend time with your sister, then he doesn’t have to. But he should respect that you want to have a relationship with your sister, and he must be cordial when he sees her or talks with you about her. There is never an excuse for rudeness, especially if it hurts you, too. Let them know that you love them both and you want to spend as much time as they can afford to give you. Right now everyone’s feelings are heated but usually these things get better with time. Good luck to you.

Love,
Cutie