Ask Grandma Anything: Her Ex Has Moved On, She Has Not

Dear Cutie,

I need your advice please. This may sound silly, as I am 23, but I feel so lost on what to do. My boyfriend of over a year broke things off three weeks ago. I love him very much, but I didn’t always treat him right. I didn’t cheat on him or anything. I never meant to hurt him, but I grew up in a dysfunctional home and have a hard time communicating. I miss him more than words can say. He refuses to talk to me, but I have been able to leave him alone this last week.

I found out he’s been taking some girl out. I’m so hurt! We had been together over a year! What should I do? I really want to fix things and heal the hurt. What should I think about this new girl? My ex is not a jerk, so I can’t believe he’s moved on so fast! I feel sick all the time and cry. I just want him back. He was my best friend. Please help me.

Signed,
Heartbroken

Dear Heartbroken,

He has moved on and I suggest you do the same. The best thing you can do right now is to move on with your life. Pick up a new hobby, call your girlfriends. I know that it is hard and this is an important relationship to you, but you can’t force something if the other person is not interested. This is a great opportunity for you to address the challenges you feel because of your childhood. I know how difficult that can be, but if you don’t look at these things, they will stick with you and end up causing more problems.

A relationship is important. But the relationship you have with yourself is even more important. The stronger you get, the healthier you’ll be and the healthier your relationships will be. It sounds to me as if you need to work on yourself before you can be a good partner to another person.

You can still care about him, but it hurts to chase someone who is not interested. And there are fish in the ocean. Go out and swim again, and with time, you will find someone else who you think is wonderful, and who wants to be with you.

Love,
Cutie

Dear Cutie,

I need your advice please. This may sound silly, as I am 23, but I feel so lost on what to do. My boyfriend of over a year broke things off three weeks ago. I love him very much, but I didn’t always treat him right. I didn’t cheat on him or anything. I never meant to hurt him, but I grew up in a dysfunctional home and have a hard time communicating. I miss him more than words can say. He refuses to talk to me, but I have been able to leave him alone this last week.

I found out he’s been taking some girl out. I’m so hurt! We had been together over a year! What should I do? I really want to fix things and heal the hurt. What should I think about this new girl? My ex is not a jerk, so I can’t believe he’s moved on so fast! I feel sick all the time and cry. I just want him back. He was my best friend. Please help me.

Signed,
Heartbroken

Dear Heartbroken,

He has moved on and I suggest you do the same. The best thing you can do right now is to move on with your life. Pick up a new hobby, call your girlfriends. I know that it is hard and this is an important relationship to you, but you can’t force something if the other person is not interested. This is a great opportunity for you to address the challenges you feel because of your childhood. I know how difficult that can be, but if you don’t look at these things, they will stick with you and end up causing more problems.

A relationship is important. But the relationship you have with yourself is even more important. The stronger you get, the healthier you’ll be and the healthier your relationships will be. It sounds to me as if you need to work on yourself before you can be a good partner to another person.

You can still care about him, but it hurts to chase someone who is not interested. And there are fish in the ocean. Go out and swim again, and with time, you will find someone else who you think is wonderful, and who wants to be with you.

Love,
Cutie