Ask Grandma Anything: When Should I Tell My Parents That I’m Gay?

Dear Cutie,

I am a 23-year-old male. I saw you on the news and I thought since you answer peoples’ questions you could help me. I want to tell you a little about me before I ask my question. To start off I’m gay and still have not told my parents. People who are gay tell their parents when they are in high school. Only a few cousins know about me. I feel that if I wait any longer that it might be harder to tell my parents when I get ready to tell tell them. Now on to my question — well I have 3 questions.

My first question is: “Do you think it’s time now to tell my parents I’m gay?” Second question: “Do you think if I wait any longer that it will be harder to tell my parents?” Third question: “Do you think my parents might have a idea that I’m gay and are waiting for me to tell them?”

Signed,
Waiting for the Right Moment

*

Dear Waiting,

I think your parents know. If you want to talk about it with them, talk about it. If you don’t want to, wait until you are ready. The important thing is that you feel good about yourself. Some parents are old fashioned and don’t want to have this conversation, but it does not mean they don’t love you. There are some conversations that are difficult to discuss with your children. Some people can talk about anything. Some people are more gentle with their conversation. The feelings are the same whether they talk about it or they don’t.

The time that is right is the time you are ready to talk. I think your parents know more than you think they know. And if they don’t want to talk about it, they will tell you, “Thank you, my dear, but not today” — and then you should just wait until they bring it up again. In the mean time, you can focus on being comfortable with who you are. I’m sure you can accept yourself for what you are. God made you the way you are. And you don’t need your parents’ approval to be happy, although it is easier. Do you have a group of friends who you can talk to? That would help.

My dear, you are lucky to live in a world that understands and wants you to be you. Good luck to you and just know that there is a good world outside there filled with kind people who can accept you even if your parents cannot.

Love,
Cutie


Dear Cutie,

I am a 23-year-old male. I saw you on the news and I thought since you answer peoples’ questions you could help me. I want to tell you a little about me before I ask my question. To start off I’m gay and still have not told my parents. People who are gay tell their parents when they are in high school. Only a few cousins know about me. I feel that if I wait any longer that it might be harder to tell my parents when I get ready to tell tell them. Now on to my question — well I have 3 questions.

My first question is: “Do you think it’s time now to tell my parents I’m gay?” Second question: “Do you think if I wait any longer that it will be harder to tell my parents?” Third question: “Do you think my parents might have a idea that I’m gay and are waiting for me to tell them?”

Signed,
Waiting for the Right Moment

*

Dear Waiting,

I think your parents know. If you want to talk about it with them, talk about it. If you don’t want to, wait until you are ready. The important thing is that you feel good about yourself. Some parents are old fashioned and don’t want to have this conversation, but it does not mean they don’t love you. There are some conversations that are difficult to discuss with your children. Some people can talk about anything. Some people are more gentle with their conversation. The feelings are the same whether they talk about it or they don’t.

The time that is right is the time you are ready to talk. I think your parents know more than you think they know. And if they don’t want to talk about it, they will tell you, “Thank you, my dear, but not today” — and then you should just wait until they bring it up again. In the mean time, you can focus on being comfortable with who you are. I’m sure you can accept yourself for what you are. God made you the way you are. And you don’t need your parents’ approval to be happy, although it is easier. Do you have a group of friends who you can talk to? That would help.

My dear, you are lucky to live in a world that understands and wants you to be you. Good luck to you and just know that there is a good world outside there filled with kind people who can accept you even if your parents cannot.

Love,
Cutie