Ask Grandma Anything: Bored in My Relationship

Dear Cutie,

I’m a 42 year old woman. Married late, tending to my career. And after five years, I realize that I have never successfully transitioned from a romantic phase into a less passionate but stable phase. Now, as my husband has successfully transitioned, I am miserable and once again unable. To me, my needs aren’t being me.

But I am now wondering if, perhaps I am just not the marriage type. I just can’t get past the hump, into accepting a bland, passionless, existence. I’d rather be alone than suffer that for extended lengths of time.  

What’s my next step. Why can’t I be happy in long-term relationships?


Dear Yearning,

Romance is important, but that excitement does dwindle unless you build a foundation for your relationship. I’m sorry to hear you describe your life as a bland and passionless existence. That reminds of my mantra: “If you are bored, you are boring.”

The good news is that you can turn things around. Take some time to identify your values and consider what you want out of your life. A relationship is important, but it starts with you. If you can make your life more satisfying, and share activities that you feel passionate about with your partner, I think the romance you are missing will not be far behind.


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Ask Grandma Anything: Dating an Older Man

Dear Cutie,

I am eighteen, and I am dating a man who is quite a bit older than me — he is 35. We’ve been together for less than a year. He wants to settle down — marry me and have children, eventually — and so do I. He’s the love of my life and I don’t want to be without him.

Other people criticize the age difference, but I don’t think of it as a problem. Honestly, I think I might subconsciously see him as somewhat of a father figure. My father was very cold to me and I’m an only child and I’ve always wanted an older brother, and I kind of feel like he fixes that. Is that weird? I don’t want to sound pathetic. He’s the most gentle, kind man I’ve ever known. He makes me feel so good and I feel so lucky to be with him.

We rushed into the relationship, moving in together, and talking about marriage and children, but it feels so right.  

Is it wrong that I’m dating an older man when I’ve had issues with my father and issues with not having a male role model?

Young Lady

Dear Young Lady, 

I hate to to say it, because it is what everyone says, but this man is too old for you. You are only eighteen. You have your whole life ahead of you. 

I’m so glad that you have found the support you have needed in him, but that does not mean that you have to start thinking about marriage and children.

Give yourself a chance to think it over. Go out with your girlfriends.Write in your diary. Figure out who you are and what you want. Remember you are not in a rush.

Good luck to you and I hope you make the decision that feels right for you. 


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