Dear Cutie,
I am eighteen, and I am dating a man who is quite a bit older than me — he is 35. We’ve been together for less than a year. He wants to settle down — marry me and have children, eventually — and so do I. He’s the love of my life and I don’t want to be without him.
Other people criticize the age difference, but I don’t think of it as a problem. Honestly, I think I might subconsciously see him as somewhat of a father figure. My father was very cold to me and I’m an only child and I’ve always wanted an older brother, and I kind of feel like he fixes that. Is that weird? I don’t want to sound pathetic. He’s the most gentle, kind man I’ve ever known. He makes me feel so good and I feel so lucky to be with him.
We rushed into the relationship, moving in together, and talking about marriage and children, but it feels so right. Â
Is it wrong that I’m dating an older man when I’ve had issues with my father and issues with not having a male role model?
signed,
Young Lady
Dear Young Lady,Â
I hate to to say it, because it is what everyone says, but this man is too old for you. You are only eighteen. You have your whole life ahead of you.Â
I’m so glad that you have found the support you have needed in him, but that does not mean that you have to start thinking about marriage and children.
Give yourself a chance to think it over. Go out with your girlfriends.Write in your diary. Figure out who you are and what you want. Remember you are not in a rush.
Good luck to you and I hope you make the decision that feels right for you.Â
Love,
Cutie
Dear Cutie,
I am eighteen, and I am dating a man who is quite a bit older than me — he is 35. We’ve been together for less than a year. He wants to settle down — marry me and have children, eventually — and so do I. He’s the love of my life and I don’t want to be without him.
Other people criticize the age difference, but I don’t think of it as a problem. Honestly, I think I might subconsciously see him as somewhat of a father figure. My father was very cold to me and I’m an only child and I’ve always wanted an older brother, and I kind of feel like he fixes that. Is that weird? I don’t want to sound pathetic. He’s the most gentle, kind man I’ve ever known. He makes me feel so good and I feel so lucky to be with him.
We rushed into the relationship, moving in together, and talking about marriage and children, but it feels so right. Â
Is it wrong that I’m dating an older man when I’ve had issues with my father and issues with not having a male role model?
signed,
Young Lady
Dear Young Lady,Â
I hate to to say it, because it is what everyone says, but this man is too old for you. You are only eighteen. You have your whole life ahead of you.Â
I’m so glad that you have found the support you have needed in him, but that does not mean that you have to start thinking about marriage and children.
Give yourself a chance to think it over. Go out with your girlfriends.Write in your diary. Figure out who you are and what you want. Remember you are not in a rush.
Good luck to you and I hope you make the decision that feels right for you.Â
Love,
Cutie