Ask Grandma Anything: Do We Downsize?

Dear Cutie,

My husband has been unemployed since October. He is smart and a good good person.  We have only been together for about two years.

We have a couples counselor who suggested we sell our house to relieve the financial pressure. At first I said yes, but now I am not willing to do it. I feel like I have been struggling to find a solution to all our financial and relationship problems, and although he says he is trying and believes he is doing everything he can do, I still feel like everything is on me.

We are not actually married, and the mortgage is in my name only. We do really have a family together though and my daughter thinks of him a  father, and the house is in both our names.

I love him dearly and I know he loves me. What do you think I should do?

Signed,
On the Ropes

Dear On the Ropes,

I know that you are comfortable in your home, but I think it is time to downsize. You can be happy without your home. You can be happy to live within your means. This is the kind of thing that can become a big problem. And it is not worth the stress. Take this opportunity to create a life that is sustainable and happy for you and your family.

You and your husband will continue to work hard to provide a beautiful living situation and not feel so chained by circumstance. Change is scary, but it when you take that first step that you open yourself up to a world that you never could have dreamed of. Don’t be afraid. Keep loving your husband, and let him love you back. Support him in his search for a job.

You don’t have to carry this burden all on your own. And you will still be you even if your life looks a little different.

Good luck to you.

Love,
Cutie

Dear Cutie,

My husband has been unemployed since October. He is smart and a good good person.  We have only been together for about two years.

We have a couples counselor who suggested we sell our house to relieve the financial pressure. At first I said yes, but now I am not willing to do it. I feel like I have been struggling to find a solution to all our financial and relationship problems, and although he says he is trying and believes he is doing everything he can do, I still feel like everything is on me.

We are not actually married, and the mortgage is in my name only. We do really have a family together though and my daughter thinks of him a  father, and the house is in both our names.

I love him dearly and I know he loves me. What do you think I should do?

Signed,
On the Ropes

Dear On the Ropes,

I know that you are comfortable in your home, but I think it is time to downsize. You can be happy without your home. You can be happy to live within your means. This is the kind of thing that can become a big problem. And it is not worth the stress. Take this opportunity to create a life that is sustainable and happy for you and your family.

You and your husband will continue to work hard to provide a beautiful living situation and not feel so chained by circumstance. Change is scary, but it when you take that first step that you open yourself up to a world that you never could have dreamed of. Don’t be afraid. Keep loving your husband, and let him love you back. Support him in his search for a job.

You don’t have to carry this burden all on your own. And you will still be you even if your life looks a little different.

Good luck to you.

Love,
Cutie