Ask Grandma Anything: The Holiday Blues


Any advice on how to have a good Thanksgiving when your family is not getting along? We are a small family and my parents and sister (who also have strong personalities) are not speaking to each other, except when mandated to by myself or a counselor. Any advice would be helpful!

The Middle Man

P.S. You are an inspiration (and very fashionable)!

Dear Middle Man,

This is a very good question, and I am sorry not to have been able to answer it sooner.

We are used to thinking that the holiday season has to be spent with our family. It would be wonderful if we could all get along, but life gets in the way and we can’t force people to behave the way we would like them to.  

Holidays are for spending time and celebrating life with the people you care about and, more importantly, the people who can treat each other with respect. Invite your loved ones–be they friends, relatives, neighbors, or partners–and if you have cause for concern, let them know what will and will not fly at the holiday table. Anyone who cannot get along is welcome to bow out of the celebration. 

It may feel a little strange at first to deviate from tradition, but allow yourself to enjoy the season with the people who want to be there. And who knows? The party poopers may realize how silly and selfish they are being and decide to come around so they can be there at the next holiday!

Good luck to you. 


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