Ask Grandma Anything: Tipping the Scales

Dear Cutie,

What are your thoughts on the “war on obesity”? Do you think everyone should work to be thin or is everyone born to be the size they are?


Dear Curious,

Well, I understand the concern about obesity, but I prefer to think about it in terms of health. There are different body types of all shapes and sizes, but you can be healthy in each body type. I was always a short lady and so my body doesn’t look like the movie stars, but that doesn’t mean I’m not beautiful. You learn to live with what God gave you and to appreciate what you have. Thank your body for everything it helps you do: from walking on the beach to dancing or swinging on a swing. You don’t have to be tall and thin to enjoy your body, and as long as you feel good inside it, I think you’re where you ought to be.


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Ask Grandma Anything: Family Finance Follies

Dear Cutie,

I am embarrassed to ask this because it is something I am ashamed of. I am 34 years old and the mother of three beautiful girls — and I have no idea how to budget money.  My husband works crazy, long hours and I am the one that handles the money, because he doesn’t have time. I am so bad at it. We barely scrape by every month and I’m sure we could do better if I had a clue about what I am doing. Can you help?  

Losing It

Dear Losing It,

This seems harder than it really is, because you are scared and upset. Start fresh. Put yourself on a budget. Give yourself so much each week, allocating enough for necessities and and allowing a little bit for fun. Some people use labeled envelopes with cash (or pieces of paper, if you use electronic payments) inside to organize their spending.

Also, it could be helpful just to track how you are spending your money. It is easy to pay with a card and forget the next day where it all went. If you start looking at how you spend, you may find that you don’t want to be putting so much money in one direction and you can start to change your spending habits to be more in line with your values. The key word is ORGANIZE. You must start thinking about this and keeping track.

Money is tricky. And it is the kind of thing that can get between families. It sounds like you value money and the hard work that your family does to earn it. You are in a good position to turn things around and soon you will find that your money is working for you, because it helps you live the kind of life that you want to live without ruining your life.

Good luck to you!


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Ask Grandma Anything: The Incredible Disappearing Date

Dear Cutie,

I met this guy a year ago through some friends. Initially he only communicated with me via Facebook email. Then one time I was talking to this other guy and he asked me for my number in front of him. Then he started calling/texting the very next day and we would talk for an hour or so every week, in addition to regular texting. We talked about our past and families. We both are divorced and have lost a parent each, so we bonded very well. Then he asked me out randomly.He ended up staying in at my place as I was tired.Then things changed and we were talking to each other every day, all day, even from work for about three weeks. One weekend he disappeared on me and when I questioned he didn’t like it. We didn’t talk for almost a month until we ran into each other at another party.He started calling again. It wasn’t as frequent as before, but he started staying in touch more. Then my mom came to visit from India and he met my mom.Now he texts/calls days in a row and then disappears again. Please advise.


Dear Yo-Yo,

Encourage him to do his own thing, just ask that he remember to make you a priority. It sounds like you are interested in some kind of commitment from him. If you don’t want to be casual, say so. It is important for all the expectations to be on the table if a relationship is going to stand the test of time. If he is not ready to give you what you want and need, then look for someone more reliable. This guy may have pleasant attributes, but they don’t mean a thing if you can’t rely on him.

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Ask Grandma Anything: The Perils of People Pleasing

Hi Cutie,

I have been told that I’m a very sensitive person. How can I go about following my own dreams rather than constantly being a people pleaser? How do I deal with the bumps in the road along the way?

Tender Blossom

Dear Tender Blossom,

Believe in yourself. You are not wrong. You may try to make other people happy, but at the end of the day you have to live with yourself.

It is impossible to make everyone happy all the time. You will have a better chance of thriving if you look at what you can do to be the best you. If you go down this road, you may find that you lose a few friends who preferred it when you put their needs above your own. And this may hurt, but when you respect yourself, you will attract positive people who will show you the same respect.

It is a difficult road, but it gets easier and it is worth it. Good luck to you, and follow your star.

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Birth of a Bad Girl

For the last 94 years, Cutie has behaved like a lady. She has done what is expected of her with a smile and all the graciousness a lady can muster. But always, she has wondered how things would have been different if she had been A BAD GIRL. The time for wondering has ceased. Starting today Good Girl Cutie is taking a vacation and Bad Girl Cutie is coming out to play. Only one problem: Cutie has no idea how to be a bad girl. That’s where you come in. Give us your suggestions for non-dangerous ways Cutie can let her bad girl flag fly, and maybe you’ll see her trying them out in a future video!

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Ask Grandma Anything: His Parents Object

Dearest Cutie,

I’m needing some relationship advice. My boyfriend and I have been dating almost a year. We are very much in love with each other and plan on marriage.

The issue is with his family. They disapprove of us being together. They have never met me. Also his parents are very traditional and Pakistani. So they see me as an outsider since I’m not the same race or religion as them. They argue with him every day to try to get him to break up with me, then make him feel guilty when he doesn’t, saying that he doesn’t care about them. He doesn’t care what race I am and I am very open to his religion. All of his friends tell him that he should stand up to his parents, but he is afraid of hurting them, since they are a very small family and he is the only son.

How can he get his parents to see that he isn’t just dating around anymore and is serious about the relationship?

Outside Looking In

Dear Outside Looking In,

I must tell you that a family that wants to hold onto their kids is a very old story. Just hang in. If it is meant to be, it will be. if it is not meant to be, kiss him goodbye and find another relationship.

They may not accept you two right now, but they will have to deal with you if the relationship becomes more substantial. The important thing is for you feel good about how your partner handles the situation. If he respects you and you don’t question his position, then his family’s opinion will not be as important.

They may come around with their thinking, especially if your partner makes it clear to his parents that you are in the picture and not going anywhere. That would be an improvement over the current situation for all concerned. They will accept you if the alternative is losing him–although things might be rocky for a little while as they get used to the idea. On the other hand, if he is not ready to stand up to his parents on your behalf, he is not ready to be in a serious relationship.

Good luck to you.

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Ask Grandma Anything: The End of the Affair

Dear Grandma,

I have been married for nine years and we have four young children.  I recently became involved with a man who is not my husband. We realized that it wasn’t a good idea, and both agreed that the relationship needed to stop.  

My question to you is: how can I get over this? I am heartbroken. I think about him all the time, and we work together, so I can’t avoid him. I know I will feel better someday, and I never should have gotten involved with him to begin with, but how do I deal with today?  We broke up a month ago, and I am still devastated. I feel like a teenager, not a 30-year-old woman, with all of my crazy emotions, and I don’t have anyone to talk to about it.

Confused and Crazy

Dear C and C,

You can’t change what you did, but you can change what you do starting today.

Find another job. Move away from him. He is bad news. You don’t need him. Go home and take care of your children. If you don’t have to see him everyday, then it will be easier to move on. It is normal for you to feel the way you do. It is too short a separation. I would put as much distance away between you and him as possible. And give you a new chance to find out what is doing on the other side of the world, or the other side of town.

New territory always sounds exciting but after a while the new territory becomes old. So don’t make this mistake again. You can still make it work with your husband. Concentrate on your family and stop obsessing over your affair.

Good luck to you.

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Cutie’s Secret Passion

It’s the 1950s, four p.m.. The house is clean, dinner is in the oven. The kids are at the library. Your husband hasn’t left the office. It’s time… to run the warmest, smelliest, sudsiest bubble bath that’s ever been run. Cutie knew then that the happiest place in any home was inside the bathtub with all of those bubbles. Let’s tune in and hear all about it.

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Ask Grandma Anything: She Won’t Commit

Hello Cutie,

I have a situation. I have been dating this woman for about six months; she is a wonderful a person and I can see myself being with her for the rest of my life. I’m 48 years old and she is 38, recently laid off from work and working part time. She isn’t sure about if she could see us together for the rest of our days. I know one of the problems is my stability, but I don’t know the other. I just found out she isn’t sure if she is attracted to me physically, but she is attracted to me mentally. Plus all of her ex-boyfriends want her back. I told her she needs to close the door on her past and move on. I treat her well and give the utmost respect and let her know how much she means to me.

The question I have is, should stay or should I just move on?  


Dear Perplexed,

The question is where is she at. She better make up her mind about what she wants. If there are boyfriends in the past that she is considering, then drop her. If she is ready to commit herself to you, that’s another story. Her life is her own but she has got to make up her mind as to what she wants. If she is thinking “maybe this,” “maybe that,” that’s not good enough. You deserve to be with someone who knows what they want.

Good luck to you.

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