Ask Grandma Anything: The End of the Affair

Dear Grandma,

I have been married for nine years and we have four young children.  I recently became involved with a man who is not my husband. We realized that it wasn’t a good idea, and both agreed that the relationship needed to stop.  

My question to you is: how can I get over this? I am heartbroken. I think about him all the time, and we work together, so I can’t avoid him. I know I will feel better someday, and I never should have gotten involved with him to begin with, but how do I deal with today?  We broke up a month ago, and I am still devastated. I feel like a teenager, not a 30-year-old woman, with all of my crazy emotions, and I don’t have anyone to talk to about it.

Signed,
Confused and Crazy

Dear C and C,

You can’t change what you did, but you can change what you do starting today.

Find another job. Move away from him. He is bad news. You don’t need him. Go home and take care of your children. If you don’t have to see him everyday, then it will be easier to move on. It is normal for you to feel the way you do. It is too short a separation. I would put as much distance away between you and him as possible. And give you a new chance to find out what is doing on the other side of the world, or the other side of town.

New territory always sounds exciting but after a while the new territory becomes old. So don’t make this mistake again. You can still make it work with your husband. Concentrate on your family and stop obsessing over your affair.

Good luck to you.

Love,
Cutie

Dear Grandma,

I have been married for nine years and we have four young children.  I recently became involved with a man who is not my husband. We realized that it wasn’t a good idea, and both agreed that the relationship needed to stop.  

My question to you is: how can I get over this? I am heartbroken. I think about him all the time, and we work together, so I can’t avoid him. I know I will feel better someday, and I never should have gotten involved with him to begin with, but how do I deal with today?  We broke up a month ago, and I am still devastated. I feel like a teenager, not a 30-year-old woman, with all of my crazy emotions, and I don’t have anyone to talk to about it.

Signed,
Confused and Crazy

Dear C and C,

You can’t change what you did, but you can change what you do starting today.

Find another job. Move away from him. He is bad news. You don’t need him. Go home and take care of your children. If you don’t have to see him everyday, then it will be easier to move on. It is normal for you to feel the way you do. It is too short a separation. I would put as much distance away between you and him as possible. And give you a new chance to find out what is doing on the other side of the world, or the other side of town.

New territory always sounds exciting but after a while the new territory becomes old. So don’t make this mistake again. You can still make it work with your husband. Concentrate on your family and stop obsessing over your affair.

Good luck to you.

Love,
Cutie