Dear Cutie,
I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for nearly fourteen years. He is very high strung, serious and what the experts call a “type A” personality type. I on the other hand consider myself to be an easygoing, silly goofball. I love to laugh and have fun, though my personality has definitely changed since being involved with him.
We do really love each other and he takes very good care of me. He also has moments when he can be very charming and sweet.
My question is: how can I cope with his stuffiness without stifling my own personality? He causes me a lot of anxiety and the “walking on eggshells” feeling.
Signed,
Egg-foot
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Dear Egg-foot,
I think it is important for a person to be comfortable in their relationship and not feel tense when with their partner. We all want a love relationship, but you have to feel good in your home. It is not appropriate to feel that you are walking on eggshells, because that means you are doing all the giving so that he can behave however he wishes, even if you don’t like it.
The question is: does he want to change to make you happier? If he is not prepared to give a little, that is your answer. If you haven’t asked if he is willing to make some changes, that is what you should do, and probably with the help of a professional counselor. And if he isn’t willing, then that is your answer.
Every couple has conflicts and the real test is what you do about them. So I am counting on you to stand up for yourself and tell your partner what you need.
Love,
Cutie
Dear Cutie,
I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for nearly fourteen years. He is very high strung, serious and what the experts call a “type A” personality type. I on the other hand consider myself to be an easygoing, silly goofball. I love to laugh and have fun, though my personality has definitely changed since being involved with him.
We do really love each other and he takes very good care of me. He also has moments when he can be very charming and sweet.
My question is: how can I cope with his stuffiness without stifling my own personality? He causes me a lot of anxiety and the “walking on eggshells” feeling.
Signed,
Egg-foot
—
Dear Egg-foot,
I think it is important for a person to be comfortable in their relationship and not feel tense when with their partner. We all want a love relationship, but you have to feel good in your home. It is not appropriate to feel that you are walking on eggshells, because that means you are doing all the giving so that he can behave however he wishes, even if you don’t like it.
The question is: does he want to change to make you happier? If he is not prepared to give a little, that is your answer. If you haven’t asked if he is willing to make some changes, that is what you should do, and probably with the help of a professional counselor. And if he isn’t willing, then that is your answer.
Every couple has conflicts and the real test is what you do about them. So I am counting on you to stand up for yourself and tell your partner what you need.
Love,
Cutie