Ask Grandma Anything: How can I be sure… if he’s the one?

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Dear Cutie,

I know you sometimes give out advice, and lately i have been feeling pretty neglected and alone. I had a originally wanted to ask a couple questions, but all I can seem to ask is: How did you know your husband
was the man you wanted to spend the rest of your life with?

I am currently in a relationship with my childhood best friend. We met in the second grade, grew super close when we were nine and have been inseparable since. I’m 21 now, and we have been dating for five years. He recently moved over 100 miles away, and I feel lost. And I feel funny reaching out to a stranger.

I’m also very excited to read your book.

Signed,
How Can I Be Sure

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Dear How Can I Be Sure,

Please don’t feel embarrassed about asking me a question. It is a sign of strength that you are willing to ask for help and guidance. You are willing to consider other ideas and grow, and that is a beautiful thing.

Now your question is a very good one and it is a very important one. How do you know if he is the right one to spend the rest of your life with?

The truth of the matter is that is really comes down to your instincts. Most of us have instincts, but they can be clouded by infatuation or a shared history. If you’ve gone through a lot with one person, it can seem like you really should be together, but that’s not necessarily the case. I’ve known plenty of people who got into relationships and stayed in them as a matter of convenience.

A good test of the relationship is to spend some time in on your own, which it sounds like you are doing. Remind yourself of who you are, what you want, and how you feel. It might seem silly to say, but some
information will rise to the surface. Try to listen to your instincts without judgment. No matter what you decide, remember that nothing can take away the happiness that you two had together.

If he is the right one, then huzzah! Go celebrate and continue to work on your relationship. All relationships need work, even the good ones. If not, don’t fret – you have your whole future ahead of you and I have a pretty good feeling that it will be a happy one.

Good luck to you,

Love, Cutie
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Going to College

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My dear friends, Sailesh and his wife Shruti–proprietors of my favorite Bombay street food restaurant, “Mumbai Ki Galliyon Se” in Artesia–are gearing up to send their very bright teenage daughter off to college. They were so kind to send me home with some delicious desserts. I promised to enjoy them and to wish all the very best for their daughter’s success. Here’s to you, beloved daughter! May you continue to work hard and make your family proud.

And, in case any of you are ever in the mood for yummy Indian food, please consider Mumbai Ki Galliyon Se. Here is my Yelp review so you will know what to order: /mumbai
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