Ask Grandma Anything: What It Means To Be A Woman

Dear Cutie,

I don’t have a question. I just wanted to say thank you for the answer you gave someone else. I saw you on KTLA news. A person had asked about being infertile. My situation is not exactly the same, but I know how she might feel.I am 45, so having kids at my age is not realistic. I did have a child when I was 18, but I felt I was too young and unprepared, so I put him up for adoption. It was the hardest thing I ever did. Now I often regret it. Since then I have felt at times I was less of a woman because of my choice and because I never had any other children. Anyhoo, your kind answer meant so much to me. I know that if anyone else would ask me about a similar situation, I would say of course, do not blame yourself or feel bad, and do not feel that you are not a woman or a good person. But when it comes to my own situation I always beat myself up. I am not sure if I am making sense. I guess I just wanted to say thank you

Signed,
Thoughtful

Dear Thoughtful,

It is easier for us to show compassion to other people before we can show it to ourselves. You made a very difficult decision at that time, but it was right for you at that time. We all live with our decisions. And we all wonder what could have been. That is in God’s hands. It takes a real woman to recognize what she can and cannot do. And your bravery gave your child a real chance at a beautiful life. He will always have a place in your heart. And you can rest your heart and know what was past is past and you live for today and for tomorrow. Thank you so much for reaching out to me. I will think of you fondly. Good luck to you.

Love,
Cutie.
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Ask Grandma Anything: When Should I Tell My Parents That I’m Gay?

Dear Cutie,

I am a 23-year-old male. I saw you on the news and I thought since you answer peoples’ questions you could help me. I want to tell you a little about me before I ask my question. To start off I’m gay and still have not told my parents. People who are gay tell their parents when they are in high school. Only a few cousins know about me. I feel that if I wait any longer that it might be harder to tell my parents when I get ready to tell tell them. Now on to my question — well I have 3 questions.

My first question is: “Do you think it’s time now to tell my parents I’m gay?” Second question: “Do you think if I wait any longer that it will be harder to tell my parents?” Third question: “Do you think my parents might have a idea that I’m gay and are waiting for me to tell them?”

Signed,
Waiting for the Right Moment

*

Dear Waiting,

I think your parents know. If you want to talk about it with them, talk about it. If you don’t want to, wait until you are ready. The important thing is that you feel good about yourself. Some parents are old fashioned and don’t want to have this conversation, but it does not mean they don’t love you. There are some conversations that are difficult to discuss with your children. Some people can talk about anything. Some people are more gentle with their conversation. The feelings are the same whether they talk about it or they don’t.

The time that is right is the time you are ready to talk. I think your parents know more than you think they know. And if they don’t want to talk about it, they will tell you, “Thank you, my dear, but not today” — and then you should just wait until they bring it up again. In the mean time, you can focus on being comfortable with who you are. I’m sure you can accept yourself for what you are. God made you the way you are. And you don’t need your parents’ approval to be happy, although it is easier. Do you have a group of friends who you can talk to? That would help.

My dear, you are lucky to live in a world that understands and wants you to be you. Good luck to you and just know that there is a good world outside there filled with kind people who can accept you even if your parents cannot.

Love,
Cutie

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Ask Grandma Anything… Surviving Your Kid’s Teenage Years

When Cutie’s kids were in their teens, it was the golden age of juvenile delinquency. (You’ve seen Happy Days, right? Like the Fonz, only mean) Not that her kids were delinquents or anything. But she got through it and so will you. This video goes out to Pam, whose son is twelve and starting to make her very anxious with his eye rolling and whatnot. Cutie says it’s going to be all right.


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Restaurant Review: Harry’s Healthy Mediterranean Cuisine (Monrovia)

We celebrated Mothers Day by touring the historic houses in Monrovia. Monrovia is a very pretty part of the world. It was developed at the turn of the 20th century and so you have the old Victorians–or some the homes have been updated to look Colonial Revival (which is also old fashioned, but probably seemed up-do-date once upon a time). Every Mothers Day you can tour these houses and imagine how people used to live, which is easy because all the men take their souped-up 1920s roadsters out of the garage and drive them up and down the boulevard as if that were perfectly normal.

And when you are ready for lunch, you should go down the road to Dogwoods Market. This is an upscale Middle Eastern specialty market. They have all the wonderful spices, vegetables and fruits, and it smells wonderful. But even better than the groceries is Harry’s Deli, at the back of the market. They serve wonderful Middle Eastern foods, and it is very exclusive: only one table!

I liked it right away because it’s called Harry’s, the name of my sweet husband. If I opened a restaurant, I’d call it Harry’s, too.

It is important to let your children order because they know just what will make you happy. And it turns out they didn’t even choose, they left it up to the very sweet woman who was working at the counter. She wasn’t even supposed to be there because Sunday is her day off, but she saw me and she liked me. I think it was because I told her I was from Egypt that she made us a special Mothers Day lunch.

She brought out tabouli, hummus, babaganoush, Turkish pizza, falafel, stuffed grape leaves, and for me especially one of my childhood favorite dishes, Foul madamas.

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Restaurant Review: Cafe Metropol, Downtown L.A. (update)

I recently went back to Cafe Metropol and tried some new things. You don’t mind if I update my review, do you?

This is in the industrial part of town, near the Santa Fe Train Station (which is now an architecture school). This looks very much like a bar, but it isn’t. It is very nice inside. I’m surprised that there weren’t more people on a Monday night because the food is very good. (I ought to know because I usually don’t like food.) My granddaughter explained to me that most of the people come during the daytime on break from their jobs downtown. So if you’re looking for a discrete place to meet someone special, try Cafe Metropol on a weeknight.

And when you come, you should have the special soup. It is a Beef Vegetable Soup, and it is the best homemade soup you have ever had. I was extra nice, so they brought me some extra broth. But if you come here, don’t eat anything else because they have very good desserts.

Tonight I had Flourless Chocolate Cake. This is like a sundae. It has ice cream with a lot of goop on it. It is very rich and very good. I was surprised to hear that there is cake in it. It is too good to be real. How does it taste? It tastes like it shouldn’t taste like that. And it tastes like a candy bar. I think that it is better than a sundae because I ate in on a Tuesday. You need a whole family to eat it–or you can finish it all on your own, if nobody’s looking.

When we asked our server to send our complements to the chef, we discovered that our server made the desert. I think he is so good he should open his own place. I thought we must have gotten his skills from his mother, but when I suggested that, he told me that she is a horrible cook. In fact, we discovered that we both got Boston Market to cater Thanksgiving one year!

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Live advice from Cutie, every Thursday on Facebook

Tune in Thursday evenings (around 6:30pm, west coast time) as Cutie gives live advice on her Facebook page. Just drop by and post a comment with your problem for Cutie to solve, or send an email through the contact form on this website.

If the Facebook page isn’t showing up when you click the link, try again in a few minutes, or if you are already a fan, look for the comments to appear in your Facebook news feed. Facebook is a little cranky these days, but Cutie won’t let that stop her answering your burning questions about love, career, aging and more!
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