Dearest Cutie,
I’m needing some relationship advice. My boyfriend and I have been dating almost a year. We are very much in love with each other and plan on marriage.
The issue is with his family. They disapprove of us being together. They have never met me. Also his parents are very traditional and Pakistani. So they see me as an outsider since I’m not the same race or religion as them. They argue with him every day to try to get him to break up with me, then make him feel guilty when he doesn’t, saying that he doesn’t care about them. He doesn’t care what race I am and I am very open to his religion. All of his friends tell him that he should stand up to his parents, but he is afraid of hurting them, since they are a very small family and he is the only son.
How can he get his parents to see that he isn’t just dating around anymore and is serious about the relationship?
Signed,
Outside Looking In
Dear Outside Looking In,
I must tell you that a family that wants to hold onto their kids is a very old story. Just hang in. If it is meant to be, it will be. if it is not meant to be, kiss him goodbye and find another relationship.
They may not accept you two right now, but they will have to deal with you if the relationship becomes more substantial. The important thing is for you feel good about how your partner handles the situation. If he respects you and you don’t question his position, then his family’s opinion will not be as important.
They may come around with their thinking, especially if your partner makes it clear to his parents that you are in the picture and not going anywhere. That would be an improvement over the current situation for all concerned. They will accept you if the alternative is losing him–although things might be rocky for a little while as they get used to the idea. On the other hand, if he is not ready to stand up to his parents on your behalf, he is not ready to be in a serious relationship.
Good luck to you.
Love,
Cutie
Dearest Cutie,
I’m needing some relationship advice. My boyfriend and I have been dating almost a year. We are very much in love with each other and plan on marriage.
The issue is with his family. They disapprove of us being together. They have never met me. Also his parents are very traditional and Pakistani. So they see me as an outsider since I’m not the same race or religion as them. They argue with him every day to try to get him to break up with me, then make him feel guilty when he doesn’t, saying that he doesn’t care about them. He doesn’t care what race I am and I am very open to his religion. All of his friends tell him that he should stand up to his parents, but he is afraid of hurting them, since they are a very small family and he is the only son.
How can he get his parents to see that he isn’t just dating around anymore and is serious about the relationship?
Signed,
Outside Looking In
Dear Outside Looking In,
I must tell you that a family that wants to hold onto their kids is a very old story. Just hang in. If it is meant to be, it will be. if it is not meant to be, kiss him goodbye and find another relationship.
They may not accept you two right now, but they will have to deal with you if the relationship becomes more substantial. The important thing is for you feel good about how your partner handles the situation. If he respects you and you don’t question his position, then his family’s opinion will not be as important.
They may come around with their thinking, especially if your partner makes it clear to his parents that you are in the picture and not going anywhere. That would be an improvement over the current situation for all concerned. They will accept you if the alternative is losing him–although things might be rocky for a little while as they get used to the idea. On the other hand, if he is not ready to stand up to his parents on your behalf, he is not ready to be in a serious relationship.
Good luck to you.
Love,
Cutie