Ask Grandma Anything: Bored in My Relationship

Dear Cutie,

I’m a 42 year old woman. Married late, tending to my career. And after five years, I realize that I have never successfully transitioned from a romantic phase into a less passionate but stable phase. Now, as my husband has successfully transitioned, I am miserable and once again unable. To me, my needs aren’t being me.

But I am now wondering if, perhaps I am just not the marriage type. I just can’t get past the hump, into accepting a bland, passionless, existence. I’d rather be alone than suffer that for extended lengths of time.  

What’s my next step. Why can’t I be happy in long-term relationships?

Signed,
Yearning

Dear Yearning,

Romance is important, but that excitement does dwindle unless you build a foundation for your relationship. I’m sorry to hear you describe your life as a bland and passionless existence. That reminds of my mantra: “If you are bored, you are boring.”

The good news is that you can turn things around. Take some time to identify your values and consider what you want out of your life. A relationship is important, but it starts with you. If you can make your life more satisfying, and share activities that you feel passionate about with your partner, I think the romance you are missing will not be far behind.

Love,
Cutie


Dear Cutie,

I’m a 42 year old woman. Married late, tending to my career. And after five years, I realize that I have never successfully transitioned from a romantic phase into a less passionate but stable phase. Now, as my husband has successfully transitioned, I am miserable and once again unable. To me, my needs aren’t being me.

But I am now wondering if, perhaps I am just not the marriage type. I just can’t get past the hump, into accepting a bland, passionless, existence. I’d rather be alone than suffer that for extended lengths of time.  

What’s my next step. Why can’t I be happy in long-term relationships?

Signed,
Yearning

Dear Yearning,

Romance is important, but that excitement does dwindle unless you build a foundation for your relationship. I’m sorry to hear you describe your life as a bland and passionless existence. That reminds of my mantra: “If you are bored, you are boring.”

The good news is that you can turn things around. Take some time to identify your values and consider what you want out of your life. A relationship is important, but it starts with you. If you can make your life more satisfying, and share activities that you feel passionate about with your partner, I think the romance you are missing will not be far behind.

Love,
Cutie