Ask Grandma Anything: How To Meet A Mate

Hey Cutie!

This question is for a friend of mine. He’s a 24-year-old living in NYC, and he just can’t figure out why girls don’t want to date him. He’s one of the kindest guys I know, and he’s a brilliant mathematician. He dresses well, he does lots of interesting things in his spare time, and he’s got a great job.

I’m wondering if maybe he’s scaring some girls off because he is so darn intelligent? He said that in the past year he’s gotten two second dates, but no third dates. He said he’s tried church singles activities, joining new clubs, and asking friends to introduce him to their friends. Unfortunately most of his single friends are in the same boat — they’re intelligent, sweet guys who just can’t catch a break. He’s even tried hanging out at bars to see if he can meet someone.

Do you have any suggestions that I can pass along to him about where to meet a good girl? I worry that he thinks something’s wrong with him, but I really don’t think there is.

thanks,
Jen

Dear Jen,

This is a good question! And it is nice that you care so much for your friend.

When I was younger, I went to a dancing group for the young people in my neighborhood. It was a great way to meet fun, outgoing people–in fact, my sister-in-law met her husband there! In my experience, more girls than boys like to dance, so if he learns how, he will be in demand–as a dancing partner, and maybe something more.

He is doing the right thing in joining groups to meet like-minded people with shared interests. Maybe he hasn’t found the right fit yet. But don’t get discouraged! There are wonderful, smart, beautiful and kind young women out there having fun, and they can’t wait to meet him. 

You sound like a nice, smart girl. Where do your friends spend their time? Send him that way.

Also, he should keep an open mind as far as his “type” of woman. He could be excluding himself because he has a preconceived notion about what is right for him. 

My message to your friend is: “Don’t get discouraged, young man! You are on the right path. Be patient, keep your heart open, and the right person will come along.” 

love,
Cutie


Hey Cutie!

This question is for a friend of mine. He’s a 24-year-old living in NYC, and he just can’t figure out why girls don’t want to date him. He’s one of the kindest guys I know, and he’s a brilliant mathematician. He dresses well, he does lots of interesting things in his spare time, and he’s got a great job.

I’m wondering if maybe he’s scaring some girls off because he is so darn intelligent? He said that in the past year he’s gotten two second dates, but no third dates. He said he’s tried church singles activities, joining new clubs, and asking friends to introduce him to their friends. Unfortunately most of his single friends are in the same boat — they’re intelligent, sweet guys who just can’t catch a break. He’s even tried hanging out at bars to see if he can meet someone.

Do you have any suggestions that I can pass along to him about where to meet a good girl? I worry that he thinks something’s wrong with him, but I really don’t think there is.

thanks,
Jen

Dear Jen,

This is a good question! And it is nice that you care so much for your friend.

When I was younger, I went to a dancing group for the young people in my neighborhood. It was a great way to meet fun, outgoing people–in fact, my sister-in-law met her husband there! In my experience, more girls than boys like to dance, so if he learns how, he will be in demand–as a dancing partner, and maybe something more.

He is doing the right thing in joining groups to meet like-minded people with shared interests. Maybe he hasn’t found the right fit yet. But don’t get discouraged! There are wonderful, smart, beautiful and kind young women out there having fun, and they can’t wait to meet him. 

You sound like a nice, smart girl. Where do your friends spend their time? Send him that way.

Also, he should keep an open mind as far as his “type” of woman. He could be excluding himself because he has a preconceived notion about what is right for him. 

My message to your friend is: “Don’t get discouraged, young man! You are on the right path. Be patient, keep your heart open, and the right person will come along.” 

love,
Cutie