The OGs

Dear Cutie,

I worry about aging and growing old. People always say that you’ll always wish you were young again. They seem sad. I have been stressing over this for the last year!

I was wondering, since you are fabulous for your age, if you have anything to tell me. My family tells me not to worry, but I can’t seem help myself.

Signed,
15 and Thinking Too Much

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Dear 15 and Thinking Too Much,

I completely understand that you are concerned about getting older. Sometimes I can’t believe that I am coming up on 96 years. Certainly as a young person, I never thought that I would get to be this old — but now that I am older, I can see that aging is not in itself a bad thing.

Getting older is not something that you should be afraid of. So many good things come of it. You get the time to accept yourself and to become the kind of person that you wish to be. As you grow older, you can learn how to take very good care yourself — with bubble baths, walks in the sun, a nap when you need it — and you can spend your time loving and caring for the wonderful people who you chose to have in your life. These are the things that an older person can look back on, with joy.

I was lucky because had my husband Harry. Even after 73 years together, he still looked at me like I was the young lady he fell in love with. And because of his kindness and acceptance of me, I never felt like I was old–maybe “older” but certainly not “old”.

I know that the media tries to tell us that the only thing that matters is youth, but that is so wrong! Definitely enjoy this time that you have as a young person and try not to be so hard on yourself for being concerned about getting older. It might help to take a moment to think about what it is about getting older that is so scary to you. Identifying your fears can help take the power out of them. And if you still can’t stop thinking about this, you might want to talk to a trusted medical professional about ways to overcome obsessive worrying.

I think about you at age fifteen and smile. You have your whole life ahead of you — so many wonderful experiences to come. Aging comes with the territory, and it can be quite wonderful territory. I know that you will make the most of it.

Love,
Cutie
Continue reading “Ask Grandma Anything: Aging with Grace”

If you are in San Francisco, stop in at the Chronicle Books store, where you can peruse all of the pretty and interesting titles that Chronicle has published, including “Fall in Love For Life.” (Thank you to our agent, Monika, for snapping this photo.)
Continue reading “Fall in Love For Life at the Chronicle Book store”

Here is a cute photo of Harry and I from a few years ago. We saw a photobooth at the mall and decided to hop inside. My granddaughter tried to squeeze into the photo too, but that didn’t really work out. Still, I think we all look great. “Cheese!”

Continue reading “Photo Booth Fun”

Like many folks, I’ve been reflecting on this past year. 2012 was full of ups and downs–mostly ups, because I have that frame of mind. But I have to say that the highlight of the year was seeing my book on sale at Anthropologie a few days ago. For this little old 95-year-old gal, it was absolutely thrilling! Here’s to 2013, and to all the adventures that are just around the corner. I hope every one of you will see your dreams come true in the coming year.
Continue reading “Highlight of 2012”

If you have been eagerly awaiting the release of my book, “Fall in Love For Life,” here is some exciting news: you can sneak a pretty big peek at the Google Books page! Or click the book cover to “look inside on Amazon. Let me know what you think!

Continue reading “Sneak Peek”

Thank you for noticing – I did just get my nails done! I asked the girl if she could match my sweater and she did. Hope you are tickled pink or purple as the case may be.
Continue reading “Matching Nails”

Oh no! A wonderful skid row dive bar is closing for good this weekend. I do not even drink, but have enjoyed visiting this friendly place for a soft drink. If you are in Los Angeles, please consider stopping by the King Eddy Saloon to say goodbye. If you are elsewhere, go show some love to your favorite neighborhood joint…. or tell me about it in the comments below.
Here is a link to today’s beautiful front page LA Times article about the King Eddy:
https://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/la-et-king-eddy-20121214,0,665791.story
Continue reading “Goodbye King Eddy”

Dear Cutie,

I’m so confused. I’ve been married for three years to a man with Asperger’s, which is on the autism spectrum. He is intelligent, loyal and childishly playful. We have had some rough times lately, especially financially. I recently started graduate school, and I realize now that I want to work abroad as a medical professional. This new career would be an escape from this boring, stressful, material life of worrying about bills. My husband is happy, but I have serious wanderlust.

I could deal with this if I weren’t feeling bored with my husband too. I go out dancing and see my friends and he stays at home. My friends ask me why he’s not with me and I have no good answers. He’s not keeping up his appearance. He would make a great father but he’s just not interested.

I also have a crush. We’re just friends, but I can’t stop thinking about how much I want a do-over. His goals align with mine, and I have so much chemistry with him and none with my husband.

Will this ever pass?

Signed,
So Confused

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Dear So Confused,

I’m so sorry to hear of your troubles, especially so soon into your relationship. It sounds like your husband has many wonderful qualities, but the fact remains that he may not be the one for you. That doesn’t mean that either of you is a bad person. Sometimes things just don’t work out, and there is no shame in that.

The hardest thing can be to think about a change. Change is scary — it can effect all aspects of your life. This is why I am suggesting that you start the process of changing your life one small step at a time.

The first thing you can do is to get some perspective. Take some time to yourself to really evaluate your situation. Go to a coffee shop, go to the movies, take yourself to dinner — do something to give yourself some space and then, without judgment, consider your situation from all the different angles. Your instincts will tell you something. It sounds like they are already telling you something by motivating you to go abroad. That may be what you end up doing, but before you make any significant decisions, I want you to slow down and think about what you really want and what it is you can do to get yourself there. Make a list.

Lean on friends and family if you have them. Talk it out, cry. Get mad. All of this is okay. You might decide to end your marriage. You may decide to make some changes try to improve your relationship with your husband. The important thing is that you don’t have to do anything today, and even through your options may seem limited, you really have unlimited options. You have some hard work ahead of you, but I think if you take care of yourself along the way, you can end up in a much better situation. You can be happy and you deserve it.

I think it is very brave of you to reach out. Good luck to you and please keep me posted.

Love,
Cutie
Continue reading “Ask Grandma Anything: Wife’s Wanderlust Woes!”

My Harry was always a very sporty guy — from the day I met him right through his old age. He especially loved golf. Here is a cute picture of him deep in concentration on the putting green. I always loved how happy he was to play!
Continue reading “Sporty Harry”