Ask Grandma Anything: Dumping a Roommate

Dear Grandma Cutie,

I’ve been living with my roommate for over three months. I moved in with her because it was too costly for me to live on my own. However, she’s highly disorganized, doesn’t follow through on her promises, doesn’t really take good care of herself, and recently, revealed to me that she’s considering filing for bankruptcy just so she can go back to school to get her masters (she’s in her early 40s, by the way).

I chip in with paying her $300 in rent, buying food, taking care of her cats, and cleaning her cluttered apartment as best as I can.

I am someone who has a clear vision for my future. I am eager to study web design so I can move full steam ahead to be a talent manager. Yet, my roommate pesters me to consider doing jobs that have nothing to do with my pursuits and I feel like I am just there to pick up her financial slack.

How can I tell her I need to move on and find another roommate?

Signed,
Reluctant Roommate

Dear Reluctant Roommate, 

It sounds like you have already decided that you need to move on.

The best way to handle these situations is to be clear and direct with the other person. Start packing! First make your arrangements so that you know you have a better place to live. When you are ready, treat the situation like you are pulling off a bandaid. Let her know that you have decided to explore other living options. You do not have to get into details about why you are leaving. That is none of her businesses. Be firm, otherwise she may think that she can talk you out of it. 

It is a shame that this situation did not work out, but on the bright side you have learned about what you need to be happy in your living situation. And if you are lucky, you can learn from her behavior so that you don’t have to treat others this way.

Good luck to you. I have a feeling you will end up in a happy home soon enough. 

Love,
Cutie


Dear Grandma Cutie,

I’ve been living with my roommate for over three months. I moved in with her because it was too costly for me to live on my own. However, she’s highly disorganized, doesn’t follow through on her promises, doesn’t really take good care of herself, and recently, revealed to me that she’s considering filing for bankruptcy just so she can go back to school to get her masters (she’s in her early 40s, by the way).

I chip in with paying her $300 in rent, buying food, taking care of her cats, and cleaning her cluttered apartment as best as I can.

I am someone who has a clear vision for my future. I am eager to study web design so I can move full steam ahead to be a talent manager. Yet, my roommate pesters me to consider doing jobs that have nothing to do with my pursuits and I feel like I am just there to pick up her financial slack.

How can I tell her I need to move on and find another roommate?

Signed,
Reluctant Roommate

Dear Reluctant Roommate, 

It sounds like you have already decided that you need to move on.

The best way to handle these situations is to be clear and direct with the other person. Start packing! First make your arrangements so that you know you have a better place to live. When you are ready, treat the situation like you are pulling off a bandaid. Let her know that you have decided to explore other living options. You do not have to get into details about why you are leaving. That is none of her businesses. Be firm, otherwise she may think that she can talk you out of it. 

It is a shame that this situation did not work out, but on the bright side you have learned about what you need to be happy in your living situation. And if you are lucky, you can learn from her behavior so that you don’t have to treat others this way.

Good luck to you. I have a feeling you will end up in a happy home soon enough. 

Love,
Cutie