Ask Grandma Anything: At 14, She’s Overwhelmed

Hello Cutie,

I just wanted to ask you what you think I should do. I am 14 and have already been through so much, like my parents divorcing and fighting constantly, my dad hating me because of my step mom, who he chose over me, the stress of being in my first year of high school and two advanced classes, and my boyfriend, who is currently struggling with schizophrenia. It is so bad he almost broke up with me to protect me, because he thinks he will hurt me.

I am actually cutting myself, even though I know it is not right. I just don’t have any other way to relieve all my stress. I have more than once considered suicide, but I don’t have the guts to do that. What should I do?

Signed
Lonely And Scared

Dear Lonely and Scared,

Good for you for reaching out. That is one of the most important things you can do to help yourself. It sounds like you are a smart girl who cares a great deal about the people in your life. And because these people are not feeling good about themselves, you are suffering. You cannot carry the weight of every other person’s problems.

Now it is time for you to put yourself first. Go to the bathroom and wash your face. Look in a mirror and see what a pretty girl is left there. Next, I want you to see if there is anyone you can talk to. Friends are good, but a counselor or a therapist is even better. Your goal is to find a healthy way to deal with your stress, and to lessen the stress you are feeling. And this is nothing to be embarrassed about. We all could use a little extra help from time to time.

Also, it sounds like you really care about your boyfriend, but you have to remember that you come first. You cannot really be there for others until you are there for yourself.

Good luck to you.

Love,
Cutie


Hello Cutie,

I just wanted to ask you what you think I should do. I am 14 and have already been through so much, like my parents divorcing and fighting constantly, my dad hating me because of my step mom, who he chose over me, the stress of being in my first year of high school and two advanced classes, and my boyfriend, who is currently struggling with schizophrenia. It is so bad he almost broke up with me to protect me, because he thinks he will hurt me.

I am actually cutting myself, even though I know it is not right. I just don’t have any other way to relieve all my stress. I have more than once considered suicide, but I don’t have the guts to do that. What should I do?

Signed
Lonely And Scared

Dear Lonely and Scared,

Good for you for reaching out. That is one of the most important things you can do to help yourself. It sounds like you are a smart girl who cares a great deal about the people in your life. And because these people are not feeling good about themselves, you are suffering. You cannot carry the weight of every other person’s problems.

Now it is time for you to put yourself first. Go to the bathroom and wash your face. Look in a mirror and see what a pretty girl is left there. Next, I want you to see if there is anyone you can talk to. Friends are good, but a counselor or a therapist is even better. Your goal is to find a healthy way to deal with your stress, and to lessen the stress you are feeling. And this is nothing to be embarrassed about. We all could use a little extra help from time to time.

Also, it sounds like you really care about your boyfriend, but you have to remember that you come first. You cannot really be there for others until you are there for yourself.

Good luck to you.

Love,
Cutie