Author: ogswp_mzygpq

Dear Cutie,

I have a strained relationship with my daughter, whom I adore. I also have a younger son. My relationship with my own mother was not easy. I had a younger sister with health problems, who got on with my mother better. After giving birth to my daughter, I developed depression.

My daughter is now 33, and despite my loving efforts, she is critical with me and makes cutting remarks. Three years ago she had an affair and confided in me, and we got closer. But then my husband wanted me to move away to another country. I had a breakdown. My husband didn’t seem to register that seven close friends and relatives had died around that time, and that my daughter needed me.

In the aftermath of these changes, my daughter retreated and returned to her acid remarks. She seems now closer to her father, which is painful for me. Please can you help tell me how to restore this relationship?

signed,
Suffering

Dear Suffering,

I know it feels terrible, but I think that your problems are simpler than they seem. Your daughter’s feelings were hurt again, but I expect that that was no surprise to you. All you can do is let her know that you value your relationship with her and that you are there for her when she needs an ear. Perhaps she will want to confide in you again. You cannot force it. Look after yourself and love the people in your life when and how they allow you to love them.

I learned from my own relationship with my daughter that if I wanted us to get along, sometimes I just had to hold my tongue. Children are always your children and you can always be the grown-up and help to smooth things along.

Figure out what it is that pushes your daughter’s buttons — ask her if you have to, but I suspect you know the answers — and stop pushing them. It will be worth it. But always remember that it takes two to get along, so as long as you do your best, you should not feel bad if your best isn’t good enough to fix a problem shared by two.

Love,
Cutie

Continue reading “Ask Grandma Anything: Healing Her Relationship With Her Adult Daughter”

Here’s a clip from Cutie’s granddaughter Kim’s brief interview on BBC5 radio’s “Up All Night” program, about the Ask Grandma Anything advice service and Cutie’s brand new book.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-19791260
Continue reading “Talking About Cutie on the BBC”

Got a problem? Just ask Grandma

Barbara ‘Cutie’ Cooper is an agony aunt in her mid-90s who gives advice online on her blog. Her new vocation has been a lifeline after losing Harry, her beloved husband of 73 years

https://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/sep/29/barbara-cutie-cooper-grandmother-blogger-advice
Continue reading “Cutie is featured in the Guardian newspaper, discovers she is an “agony aunt””

Hi Cutie pie,

I was dating a guy I met at my school, when he tells me he wants to be a Marine. We hadn’t been dating that long. A year later, through thick and thin, we’re still together. Then he went off to boot camp. Communicating is harder, but we make it through the four months and when he comes home everything is wonderful again.

But now that he is off to school, things have gotten really bad. There have been so many miscommunications because I went off to be an exchange student. The extra stress was too much, so we ended up fighting a lot and broke up.

Last weekend we started talking again, and it’s kind of like we never broke up. I’m wondering if you think that it is worth trying again? Or if we should wait? Or if all the work will even be worth it? (I love him.)

signed,
Steadily Lonely

Dear Steadily Lonely,

It sounds like you both put a great deal of effort into the relationship, but that the challenges of life got in the way. I want you to know that familiarity is not love. If it was so hard before, what is different now that will make it better? What has changed?

It is very difficult to become an adult and figure out who you are and deal with the sea of emotions that you feel. Sometimes it seems like a good idea to stay in a relationship rather than have to face yourself and all of that work to become the person you want to be. But I can tell from your message that in your gut you don’t think this relationship the right thing for you.

You still get to care about him and nothing can take away the important relationship that you shared, but it is time to move on. Get out there. Make mistakes. Live your life. You won’t regret it.

Who knows what is around the corner?

love,
Cutie
Continue reading “Ask Grandma Anything: Long Distance Heartbreak”

Dear friends,

What a thrill it is to share with you the exciting news that today, September 1st, my memoir of 73 years of marriage to Harry has been published in England!

My American friends will have to wait until Valentine’s Day to see it in their favorite bookshop, but should you be especially eager to read it, you can go right on over to the Amazon UK store and order a copy for airmail delivery today.

If you do read my book, please let me know what you think of it. I hope that you will enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it with my grandchildren, and that you will be impressed by the beautiful design by the talented Tracy Sunrize Johnson. She made my life with Harry look like a very sophisticated fairy tale, and what a lovely way that is to remember.

Continue reading “My Book Is Available (in England)!”

The best prank calls are completely original. Anyone can ask “is your refrigerator running?” but only Cutie could come up with a bizarre telephone query that will leave its recipients scratching their heads for years.

If you liked this video, check out Prank Calling 101:
/prankcalling101
Continue reading “Prank Calling 102”

Dear Cutie,

I’ve loved this guy for about six months now, and then a few months ago I told him. It was actually great, it wasn’t awkward, it was fun and we had our inside joke. And then about two months ago, I got someone else to ask him out for me and he never replied. Then a few weeks later, we were at a party and he said “Serena, why don’t you just ask me out in person, here, now?” And so I did, but then a few days later he said “Serena, I just wanna be friends, okay?” But then, a few days later, he said on Skype to a girl, “I’m Serena’s, okay?” Which surely would mean he liked me?! Please help: does he like me or not? And either way, what do I do?

Dear Serena,

Mixed messages are a waste of time. I know that he is probably cute, and there is something exciting about trying to win him over, but no one should have that much power over you. It sounds like he feels something towards you, but cannot stop playing games. Maybe he likes the attention, but that is not enough. And again, mixed messages.

If you want my advice, I say think about something new. A new guy, a new hobby, the news, the Olympics, anything. It will be hard, but time will give you distance from the situation and you can see that you deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, wants to be with you, and can show you that every single day.

Keep on keeping on!

Love,
Cutie
Continue reading “Ask Grandma Anything: Dealing with Mixed Messages”

Nate n’ Al is a great little deli in the middle of Beverly Hills. You could go to Rodeo Drive to buy a designer purse or some $200 yoga pants, and completely miss it if you didn’t know any better. Well, now you know better, so there’s no excuse.

Nate n’ Al’s hearkens back to the old Beverly Hills that I used to know. I came here years and years ago. This was “our spot” every Tuesday before our weekly card game and we loved it. It was also where you went to breakfast or lunch when you had the time.

I came back the other day, after a forty years, and it seems like nothing has changed! The Mazoh Ball Soup is still the same. The Matzoh Brie is still the same (that’s fried matzoh to the uninitiated, and I recommend you try it). Even the pickles are still the same.

This is a place where you go to see and be seen. It’s the kind of place where the diamonds mix it up with the clay. Business people come on their lunch breaks. Other kinds of people bring their grandparents. I don’t think you can bring your little dogs, which is probably why we haven’t see the Paris Hiltons of the world in there. But that’s
probably for the best.

If you want my advice, bring the whole family. They have all the comforts of Jewish food and reasonable choices if you want to keep your LA figure, too. What’s not to love?
*
See this review and Cutie’s other dining adventures at Yelp:
https://barbaracooper.yelp.com
Continue reading “Restaurant Review: Nate ‘n Al Delicatessen & Restaurant”

I’ve been waiting to write my review of Crumbs Bake Shop because I didn’t want you to know that I had fallen for all the cupcake hype. After all, I am a grandma. And grandmas are really in the business of providing cupcakes for their loved ones. So a store that sells cupcakes did not make a lot of sense to me. In fact, I felt a little threatened.

But, I’m here to report that gourmet cupcakes are here to stay, and so are grandmas.

I am not ashamed to admit that the difference between a cupcake that a grandma makes and a cupcake baked by Crumbs is quality verses quantity. Having a Crumbs cupcake is an experience that requires your full attention. You should not have a Crumbs cupcake while watching television, and certainly not while driving in the car. It should be shared among friends and family and talked about while you enjoy it.

I dare say that Crumbs cupcakes are wasted on children, which surprises me, because I used to think of cupcakes as being an unsophisticated treat. But really, these cupcakes are little gourmet cakes, with all the imagination that goes into a fancy cake smushed into a small package.

After some consideration, I opted for the Blackout Chocolate cupcake, which has rich chocolate covered with fudge and vanilla custard. You really cannot go wrong with custard. And I loved it! I loved the cake, the fudge and especially the custard. I took my time over it, and had a wonderful experience.

An important thing to remember about enjoying a fancy cupcake is that you are allowed to be messy. I had plenty of napkins, which is typical of me. Also, a spoon helps. So pick your favorite flavor, spread out your napkins and dig in!

I no longer feel threatened by the cupcake trend. There will always be room for grandmas and the cupcakes they bake with love–and sometimes, it’s true, from a mix–but there is also plenty of room for delicious new gourmet treats.

Now, if you will excuse me, I’m going back to Crumbs because I cannot stop thinking about gourmet cupcakes!

*
See this review and Cutie’s other dining adventures at Yelp:
https://barbaracooper.yelp.com
Continue reading “Restaurant Review: Crumbs Bake Shop”

HOW TO SURVIVE ANYTHING – The Life Story of David and Yetta Kane

My grandchild has been reading to me from a new book by Yetta and David Kane. They are a nice Californian Jewish couple from the old country, a little younger than Harry and me, who decided to share their life story for the benefit of posterity and for us busybodies.

I like this book! I am interested in hearing about what life was like for Jews in the country, because I always lived in a city. And it is so cute that he lived in Boyle Heights (very Jewish) and she lived in the Fairfax District (very American). I find that it’s pleasant to read about a happy couple just doing their thing. If you like stories about real people in love, I think you will enjoy this book.

Continue reading “Book Review: How To Survive Anything – The Life Story of David and Yetta Kane”